"I'll get the banjo out in a minute." "Bugger off Jim, it's One O'Clock in the morning."
12 October 1998
Caroline Aherne Craig Cash Henry Normal
Barbara is up in the bedroom getting ready for bed and talking to Jim about work while he tries to sleep. The door slams downstairs and Denise and Dave can be heard arguing and Barbara decides whether to go down or not.
Meanwhile downstairs Denise and Dave are arguing over Beverley Macca and she removes her wedding ring threatening not to marry Dave because he is flirting with her. Then Barbara comes down and accuses Dave of upsetting her and Denise tells her about him flirting with Beverley Macca. Eventually Jim comes down and Barbara explains about Beverley Macca and Jim compliments her. Jim heads into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and Dave joins him and Jim tries to relieve him. Antony comes down for a cup of tea and Jim wonders how he knows, he wonders what is going on and when Beverley is mentioned again he compliments her boobs.
Jim brings in the tea and starts to talk to and comfort Denise, and Jim questions whether the wedding is off and she is unsure. Barbara also thinks back to when they first knew Dave and what they did for him and how he was better than her previous boyfriends. Jim then starts to get indigestion and Barbara goes to get some Rennies for him and he makes a joke with Denise when she leaves the room.
Barbara comes in looking for the Rennies and tells Dave to come back in and Dave assures her nothing was going on. When he comes back in, Denise is very negative towards him and he tries a few jokes on her to try and cheer her up. Jim keeps going on about his indigestion and suggests that it may be liver failure and Barbara suggests calling the doctor. Eventually Jim starts to burp and that cures it and she told him it was heartburn. Jim then asks Denise and Dave whether they are getting married and they say they are and he tells Antony to go and make another drink to celebrate.
Then the entertainment starts, Dave starts with a joke and an impression of Paul Daniels and Antony brings in the drinks. They then start to sing songs, Jim starts with "How to handle a women " then one he sang to Antony when he was a baby. Then he get's the banjo out and they sing "I want a girl (Just like the girl)." Barbara then sings the song that she does when she washes up and Antony is forced to do his muscle man impression. They then go to bed and Antony get's the sleeping bag for Dave. He get's undressed and farts inside of the sleeping bag, Denise comes down for a cuddle and she smells his fart and slaps him.
Antony: "Is there any tea going?"
Jim: "Bloody hell have you got radar up your arse!"
Antony: "It's in the pan cupboard!"
Jim: Bloody hell, she's not expecting burgulars is she?"
Jim sings "How to handle a women" by Richard Burton and "Walking down the street in rugged clothes." Barbara sings "You were made for me" by Freddie and the Dreamers.