|Making Ends Meet|
"Your one lazy little sod you!"
21 September 1998
Caroline Aherne, Craig Cash, Henry Normal
The Royles are all seated around the table while Jim calls for his dinner and Barbara brings the final plates in. She then starts up a conversation about the bakery and Jim wonders why Barbara is telling him about it. Denise turns around to look at the telly and starts to talk about Family Fortunes.
Denise and Barbara then start talking about her married life and what she will cook except for chips, a possible option being pasta which sparks another My Arse! Denise starts discussing what she would be putting on the wedding list, bringing up the subject of Dave's dad having to pay nothing because he is on a disability allowance which causes a row because Jim has to pay for everything for the wedding.
Jim takes over from Denise on eating the fat off her chop and Barbara asks her what days she would be coming round for her dinner, again sparking outrage in Jim when she confirms about four days a week.
Jim continues to eat the chop until their is nothing left on it and Barbara then collects in the plates and Barbara goes to get the Apple Pie. After bringing in the plates, Antony starts straight away and finishes it within a minute, causing Jim to consider whether he has worms.
Jim then goes and sits down in his chair and is closely followed by the others while Antony collects and washes the plates and is later told to mash the tea while Jim fiddles with his jeans and this causes Denise to remark and he complains about 50p worth of his underpants being stuck up his arse.
Barbara starts talking about the people in the bakery and soon after Denise's attention is soon drawn back to the telly and she has to explain twice because they didn't listen the first time.
The conversation moves onto Nana coming on Sunday and Jim is given the task to go and get her on the bus, we also find out that she is planning to give £5 to Denise for her wedding. and Jim looks in the paper to see what is on the telly.
Antony brings in the biscuit tin and grabs about ten while Jim makes a sarcastic remark. Antony sits down and the doorbell rings and Antony is made to get it and he remarks that he has to do everything. Dave is at the door and he comes in, Jim asks him how his dad is and how is leg is suprising everyone. Dave then gives Jim one of his new business cards for his mobile disco which impresses Denise because her name is on it.
Jim heads off for an "Eartha Kitt" which discusts Denise and Barbara and Denise wants to go down The Feathers but Dave is too tired and this annoys Denise. Jim returns from his toilet visit and quotes that it could be flammable. Antony comes down remarking the smell and Jim gets in a huff over it. Meanwhile Antony spots a neighbours new car and starts to have a nose out followed by Dave, Denise and Barbara while Jim doesn't move and asks them to describe what is happening and Antony gets annoyed by this causing Jim to call him a lazy sod, Dave and Antony then go out and talk to them. Then Barbara starts going on about Antony being gangly and Denise heads up for a bath. Jim states the anniversary of his dad dying 20 years the next day and Barbara warns him not to speak ill of the dead. Jim then cheers himself up by talking about Norma not having long to go either, annoying Barbara. When Barbara then offers the chance of an early night, he quickly surfs through the tv channels to avoid it.